Latest Update...

It has taken me a little while to come to terms with our latest doctors appointment.  We went to Dr. A (dad's oncologist) a few weeks ago and the news was not great.  As far as dad's scans and blood work, the cancer has not spread to his other organs, bones, or blood.  That information was great, but the overall visit was not so great. 

Dr. A asked me to go into the hallway, wanted to ask me about dad's meds, but when we got into the hallway, he told me that it didn't look good.  The headaches are coming more often and the continuous decline with the use of his right side are not good signs.  He told me that I should call in my siblings (thanks mom and dad...sure could have used one about now) and prepare.  Billy and I decided we did not want to share this information with dad, so if you speak with him, please respect our wishes.  Of course he "thinks" he knows, but we would rather him enjoy his time instead of worrying.

Hospice has been called in now...we have an aid 3 days a week, a nurse 1 day a week and a social worker once a month.  Dad has run everyone off before that we had come in, but he has met his match this time and they aren't going anywhere...I love it!!!  Dad has his good and bad days so to look at him sometimes, you would not be able to see what the doctor was seeing.  It is so sad to see the decline this awful disease has caused in just a little about 10 months.  An independent man, who loved to be active in the garden, in the garage, and free to do what he wanted has now been reduced to a man in a hover round who has to have help doing most things, can't walk, and has lost his independence.  I hate this disease, it infuriates me...I just get so angry sometimes that I can't fix this, make it better and take care of the problem. 

Dad has been so strong, he still has his sense of humor and that has helped us all.  He laughs and makes jokes about things, he says he isn't going to sit around and cry that he is going to make the best out of the time he has, but lately he has been making more of those "when I am gone" comments.  He told me the other night that he never wanted me to forget him...like that would ever happen.  For Christmas he gave me a willow tree father and daughter statue...he told me he always wanted me to keep it and remember him. 

We go back to Dr. A on Thursday...they are going to let us know if we are going to keep on with the chemo and if so, at what dose.  It seems to be making him sick and not making any difference.  We are also hoping they are going to order a CT of his head.  We know as of November 5th, his frontal lobe was swollen and that he had 5 masses in his head...just wondering what it looks like now.  I will keep everyone updated.

Over the past 10 1/2 months, I have come to learn the importance of the "small" things and to live each day to it's fullest.  During Christmas I found that the gifts were not what was important, but the fact of being with family, having my dad here...that was what was and is important.  A few months back I bought dad a book that had all kinds of questions in it...things about his childhood, school days, and adult life.  Well with the decline of his right side, he can't write in his book.  Because of this, my amazing honey bought me a flip cam for Christmas so I can record dad's answers.  I'll be sure to share some of those when I get them uploaded. 

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers...

Been a while...

Well since my birthday weekend, dad has had his ups and downs.  Dad had a chest, abdomin, and pelvis scan over a week ago and we find out the results this coming Thursday.  Neither one of us have wanted to call and find out the results so we are patiently waiting for Thursday.  Dad's theory is "no news or good news."  I"ll post more when we know.